We are all sponges.  I recently heard this theory of self-care that resonated with me.  When we take care of ourselves, we absorb water like a sponge.  Then throughout the day as we navigate life’s tasks of work, family, etc, etc, we are slowly - or quickly - squeezing out the water.  Or, more literally, squeezing out our energy, our capacity for work, our good mood, our tolerance for frustration, etc.  If we don’t take time to adequately fill our sponge, we won’t have anything left to squeeze out.  Alternatively, if our sponge is empty by mid-morning, how do we fill it back up again to make it through the remainder of the day?

I’m a newly branded cancer survivor. My journey is fresh (read more about it here).  I’m only a few months out from surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, so the fog of the battle is still close to the surface. So it’s actually a perfect time to amp up my self care game - you know, before life goes back to its normal rush. I have the power to craft the life I want.  I can start from scratch as I re-enter social and work life. I don’t need to find the time in an already full schedule to take care of my mind and body. Cancer took care of the pause.  It made me completely stop and do nothing but heal.   But if there is one thing that my cancer journey has taught me, it’s that making time for self-care is vital.  I’ve been “blessed” with this hindsight and am choosing to start this next phase of my life with this non-negotiable routine.

Self care was part of my routine prior to my diagnosis, but it has since taken a much higher priority in my daily routine.  To be honest, I avoided it while going through treatment. I didn’t have the energy to focus on anything other than getting through the day. It was too scary to be introspective. I think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs here, and if you’re not familiar, it basically states that if your most basic needs are not being met (physiological, safety, love and belonging), then you won’t be able to focus on more higher needs (esteem, self-actualization).  When going through cancer treatment, you are essentially stuck at the bottom of the hierarchy - physiological and safety.  It’s difficult to devote much needed energy on self-actualization when you’re literally worried about survival.  

I have 5 things that I’m practicing daily now that I’m out of the treatment phase of my cancer journey. 

Meditation

I have always struggled with this one.  I’ve never been able to make it through a few moments without my mind spinning in many different directions.  But I’ve read that mediation is a “practice.”  This idea has given me the permission to allow myself grace when meditating.  I started with a few minutes of guided meditation on an app (Insight Timer).  This has grown into 10 minutes of simple music and nature sounds.  Yes, my mind still wanders, but the idea is to recognize the thought and bring yourself back.  And honestly, it's becoming easier.  I’ve only been doing it for a couple weeks now, but this is the longest stretch I’ve been able to maintain. 

Journaling

Obviously I like to write.  Journaling was something that was part of my routine before my cancer diagnosis, so it was the easiest to bring back into my day.  But even if writing is not for you, taking the time each day to reflect is so rewarding.  Even if you simply make a list of what you’re grateful for each day.  You could even record it on your phone instead of writing it if that makes it easier.  It doesn’t matter when you do it.  I don’t always write in my journal first thing in the morning, but I find morning works better for me than evening.  It helps ground me and get me ready for the day. 

Affirmations

OK, I get it. Saying statements about how great you are outloud can feel uncomfortable and unnatural. That’s the point. If you are constantly saying negative things to yourself, it makes sense that  positive statements are out of your comfort zone. But forcing yourself to spend a few minutes each day saying positive statements may actually cause you to believe them. I admit I’m late to the affirmation party.  This was not part of my routine until recently, so I’m waiting to reap the benefits - but I’m here for them. 

Movement

This one definitely took a backseat until I felt stronger and had more energy.  But once I felt better, I was eager to add more movement and exercise back into my life.  It can be simple. You don’t have to run a marathon.   I started with short walks with my dog, which provided me with fresh air, got my heart pumping a little bit, and started to fire my muscles.  The more you move, the better you feel.  Your body produces endorphins - the feel-good chemicals - which make you want to move more.  Last week I went back to my Pilates studio and took three classes.  Stretching, building strength, and joining the Pilates community was so great for my mood.

Play

This one is harder for me.  The idea is to spend time on things you enjoy, just for the sake of enjoyment.  This could be anything!  I’m not a “sporty” person.  After spending the past several months on my sofa binging Netflix, I want to say it’s play.  I enjoy it, but it doesn’t feed me as real play should.  I’m not the type to go play a round of golf, spend time knitting or doing pottery.  I don’t enjoy gardening or crafts.  But I do love reading, so I am trying to spend more time reading than watching television and scrolling on my phone.  I read for enjoyment and for personal development.  I also am trying more creative pursuits, such as coloring in adult coloring books, and maybe I’ll try painting.  I’m willing to dabble in some different areas to find something that clicks.  

I am a firm believer in making a conscious effort to engage in some - or all - of these activities at least every week.  Every day would be better.  Self-care is not all about the “treat yourself” activities like massages and bubble baths, although those are great things to do as well.  It's more of a regular maintenance of making sure we absorb as much water as possible into our sponge so we have a surplus - and be prepared for the squeeze.