Digging Out and Moving Forward
This time last year we were all excitedly anticipating the end of 2020. We were constantly bombarded with memes about how 2021 was just around the corner, and let’s say goodbye and good riddance to the shit-show that was 2020. We were all ready to move on from the pandemic. We were all ready for a year of “normal” activities that involved seeing our friends and family. We might have also been ready to go back to work in a physical space outside of our homes. We were ready for our kids to safely return to school. We. Were. Ready. Well, then we got 2021. To me, it didn’t feel like the beacon of hope we had all anticipated. Why?
Whether we are ready to admit it or not, we all, collectively, as a nation and as a world community, experienced trauma. And not just trauma the way you may have historically learned. Not just one, big, traumatic event that has a distinct beginning and a clear end, like a tornado, a car accident, or a one-time violent act. This is called acute trauma. But what we have all experienced is systemic, collective, pervasive trauma. The kind of trauma that leaves us anxious, hopeless, angry, and afraid of what could possibly be around the next corner. The kind of trauma that permeates all that we do. That lurks under the surface and interrupts our thoughts, decisions, sleep and mood.
When you are experiencing trauma, when you are mired in it, and even when it's behind you, your typical ways to “bounce back” might not be working as well as they have before. Some things to keep in mind as you begin to dig out and move forward:
Talk about it. Unpack your feelings and be honest with yourself if you are struggling. Talk to family and friends about how you’re feeling. Talking with a coach or professional counselor can give you a more objective viewpoint, and a professional might be less inclined to tell you to “just snap out of it.” Journaling to work out your feelings might also accomplish the goal of getting your thoughts and feelings out of your head and into the world so they can be dealt with.
Exercise - When we move our bodies, endorphins are released into the bloodstream and have a huge impact on our mood. I know I feel most alive and energized when I’m outside on a crisp, cool morning, just walking and breathing in the fresh air. So find a form of movement that you love and will do consistently.
Realize that “normal” may look different. Not only because the world around you has changed, but because you have changed as well. I know we are all ready to get back to the way things were before the pandemic, before all the division in our country. But don't try to force yourself, or even worse, try to force others who might need more emotional healing, into moving on before they’re ready.
Maybe you can find a silver lining? I will always cherish the time I had with my son during this state of limbo. He is a teenager, so instead of being out of the house, completely absorbed by his social connections, he was with me. And it was great. I also found my current career because of the social distancing we all experienced. I discovered a new way of operating, so I could pursue something I’ve always wanted to do. I know I’m not alone in discovering that a new way of working flexibly is something that makes a lot of sense.
Don’t isolate yourself. As long as you can safely be around people, get out there! Surrounding yourself with others and doing things that bring you joy can help lift your mood.
Take care of your health. You know the drill....eat healthy, nourishing foods, get enough sleep, meditate. Find things that you will actually do that make you feel good and stick with them. Remind yourself daily how important it is to take care of yourself, because your health is the foundation for making everything else work smoothly.
I know the word “trauma” is a scary one. I know that we don’t want to admit that we have all experienced a collective trauma. It’s really easy to just carry on as if it wasn’t happening. It’s really easy to say “I’m fine” when asked how you’re doing. But please take some time to heal and practice self-care. It isn’t being selfish or weak - it helps you be stronger, happier and more able to move forward.
