Discovering Your Why
I have found my purpose. My reason for doing what I do. My reason why I am working so hard...and loving it. I have finally blended all of my education, experience and the things I naturally gravitate towards into one glorious purpose. One culminating “why.” Are you curious yet? Well, I have discovered that my why is listening to people tell their story, discovering what makes them tick, and helping them find their why.
Knowing why you do what you do is such a powerful, mind-opening, ah-ha experience. When you land on it, you finally say YES, this is it! But finding it is not so simple. It takes a lot of introspection and self-analysis. Until I experienced last year’s (and the year before that) transition for myself, I tried on several different versions of my why. But while they may appear as a wide variety of different paths on the surface, all of my previous jobs/careers/paths had a central core. The core was that I wanted to help, support, and educate others. Even while in High School, I did things that helped and educated others. I was in a group that was trained to be a support to other teens (I think it was called something like Teen Contact). My choice of major in college was Secondary Education with the intent to teach English. My why: helping and teaching.
After college I was derailed a bit from my original path of becoming an English teacher, but I was still drawn to jobs that used my innate skills and spoke to my why, even though I wasn’t looking for it or analyzing my choices at that time. I spent the obligatory time as a waitress while I was in college. I loved talking to people and hearing their stories. I worked in a diner-type atmosphere so we had our “regulars” who loved to chat. When I was a bank teller after college, I loved educating customers about their accounts. I also was drawn to training and development and considered going into teller training or human resources. My why: listening to stories to learn about others and teaching.
Next, I was owner/manager of a day spa. Sounds super random, I know! But I loved teaching others how to take care of their skin. I loved educating them about products and how to protect their skin from the sun. It was my favorite part of that position. I spoke at women’s groups about skin care and managing stress and anxiety through self-care. Our clients were mostly women who came in for services on a regular basis, so I really got to know them well. I loved talking and hearing their stories about their jobs, families, and things that stressed them out. I loved helping them relax and recharge before sending them back to their busy lives. It was essentially a form of therapy! My why: helping others, hearing their stories, and teaching.
Which led me on my next path. I went to graduate school to become a School Counselor and spent the next nine years working at the elementary and middle school levels. I loved supporting kids and being their advocate through tough situations. Although incomprehensible to many people, I even loved supporting teens through middle school drama! I loved helping them identify their strengths and their purpose, and encouraging their resilience. I flourished in front of a classroom, watching their eyes light up while I taught them about conflict management, explored their multiple intelligences, and assisted them through problem-solving strategies. But it was while working as a school counselor that I found my next real love. My super power. Behavior analysis. My why: helping kids, hearing their stories, and teaching.
Our first relocation to Northeast Pennsylvania led to my next role, where I took the principles I learned studying applied behavior analysis to support parents and educators working with children with some pretty significant behaviorial and developmental delays. I discovered that I automatically thought in behavioral terms. I was always able to look two steps ahead and predict what a parental cue could potentially lead to, and then help that parent adjust in such a way that the desired behavior resulted. I was able to work with teachers to help them set up their classroom in such a way that appropriate behaviors were reinforced, and undesired behaviors were minimized. I eventually rose to the level of a program director where I provided clinical guidance and supervision for the therapists and behavior support personnel working in my program. My why: supporting, analyzing and educating.
But working with this population took an emotional toll on me, and I needed a break. So entered the best opportunity for a change...my husband’s relocation to Virginia. It gave me the perfect way to start over. And as I discuss in a previous post here, I changed directions and got my real estate license. While trying to build a real estate business, I was asked to discover my why. And guess what, it was helping, supporting and educating people through the homebuying process. My why: helping, supporting, and educating.
2020 for me was a huge growth year. It led me to realize that the same principles of behavior that I have been teaching and providing consultation on for the past 20 years can easily be applied to adults. I had applied it to myself while working through my own transition and building habits for success. At the core of it, all behavior occurs for a reason. All behavior (and thoughts) can be shaped and changed. At the root of behavior change is discovering “why.” What this means for you is this...I can help you align your thoughts and behaviors with the vision you want to create for your life. Together we will look at the things you want to do more of, the things you want to stop doing, and the things you want to start doing. We will create a plan that includes really digging into the why. Your purpose. I will listen to your story (as I have shared mine above) and look for the common threads. If the common threads are things that make you smile, then we will incorporate doing more of those. If the common threads are things you hate, well that gives us lots of material to work with as well! And while it may seem that my professional life is a patchwork quilt of a wide variety of career paths, at the core are very similar themes. All have led me to where I am now. And all have led me to discovering my why.
