Leaving (and finding) the Comfort Zone
If we’re lucky, life brings us through cycles of comfort (AKA the comfort zone) followed by change and transition, which hopefully leads to another period of time in the comfort zone and so on, and so on. Without the little hiccups or big stumbles or earth-shattering lows or leaps of faith, we wouldn’t grow. We wouldn’t discover our strengths. We wouldn’t experience all that life has to offer. I have been in a period of transition for the past two years. When I think about it, this is the longest time I have gone without reaching the comfort zone. I’m not there yet, but I’m close.
In the summer of 2018 I was in the comfort zone. I had a job I loved and was successful in. We lived in a fantastic community and had great supportive friends. We had just returned from a Colombian vacation with our friends. We had routine. We had structure. We had fun and friends. There are some who never choose to leave the comfort zone. And who can blame them. It feels good there. It’s familiar. My husband, ever the risk-taker, always the one who pushes me outside my comfort zone, always the encourager, said “nah, let’s do something different!” So in August of 2018, he accepted a position that would move us to Richmond, Virginia. A seven hour drive from our cozy, comfortable place. I had a wide range of emotions. Excitement, sadness, fear, anxiety plus many other feelings cycled through my existence over the next months. The months of my house not selling. The months of “goodbyes” to our friends because we didn’t actually know when we were moving. The months of endless questions that I didn’t have the answers to. The months of preparing for my job transition. The months of figuring out what I wanted to do next. The months of my husband living two states away. The months of traveling to Virginia to look at neighborhoods and houses but not being able to make the move.
Finally in March 2019, our house sold. We made the decision to stay with friends so that my son could finish out his sixth grade year. But we could finally search for a Virginia home in earnest. We said our actual “goodbyes” in June and drove south to our new life. We spent the summer unpacking, exploring our new area, enjoying the amenities in our new community (resort-like swimming pool and beautiful walking paths). And then I began my adventure in real estate in January 2020. I was ready! But yeah, 2020 happened. After 18 months of transition, I was SO ready to be in the comfort zone again. I longed for it. But life doesn’t always go as planned. As I discussed here in my last blog post, 2020 has forced introspection and self-analysis. I have grown a lot in the turmoil of 2020.
Which leads me to my latest transition, which has actually always been part of who I am. Part of what motivated me and pushed me forward through all of my various career paths, has been a desire to help others. I know that sounds cliche, but I’ve always worked in helping professions. I’m an educator, a counselor and a behavior specialist. For years I sat at school counselor conferences, leaning over to my friend telling her I wanted to be a “guru.” Sure I helped others as a school counselor, as a mobile therapist, as a program director. But I wanted to help bigger! I wanted to be the expert keynote speaker. I wanted to be the one who wrote the book and taught others. I wanted to be the one to help and coach people through what I have been through. But until now, I didn’t know what that “thing” was. And I needed a “thing” if I was truly going to help others learn and grow. My personal and professional growth over my 20 plus years in the helping professions have led me to where I am now. I am a Life Transition Coach.
So what does that mean? I currently work with high school students to help them identify what they want to do with life after graduation. I coach them through the entire process from finding a career path, to selecting the right college, and guiding them through the college application process. In 2021, I will be expanding that work to include working with adults in transition. Transitions can take many forms. Like my decision to leave real estate behind and dive into coaching, transition can be a choice. Natural life transitions like graduating from high school or college, becoming a parent, or becoming an empty-nester, although expected, can throw us into a tailspin. And sometimes, change and transition are forced upon us by tragic circumstances outside our control. I am looking forward to coaching individuals...no matter the cause of their transition...into their next comfort zone. Stay tuned!
