Once a Country Mouse
You know that old Aesop fable The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse? I don’t remember all the details of it at this point, but the idea is that one mouse lived in Town and his cousin lived in the Country. They visit each other’s homes and find positives and negatives in each. I think we all have a preference for one or the other. Maybe different stages of our life are meant to be spent in different locations that fit our lifestyle at that time. Or maybe you’ve always lived in the same place and couldn’t imagine living somewhere different. And sometimes life surprises you. Sometimes you think you will spend your life in one setting and then end up falling in love with another.
I grew up a country mouse and thought I would never leave. We had ten acres of land and my grandparents had a farm beside us. There were cows, horses and dogs. My sister and I played in the creek and in the hay bales in the barn. We gathered clay from the creek, made “soup” out of grass, rocks, and flowers, and played with our dogs. There are many pros about growing up in this idyllic setting. There was a lot of good, wholesome fun to be had. There were no close neighbors, and the views were beautiful. But no close neighbors also means...no close neighbors. If we wanted to visit friends, it required a drive. My dad couldn’t wait until I got my driver’s license so he wouldn’t have to drive me the 45 minute round trip to my friend’s house, and then come back and get me a few hours later. My dad now lives close to town...with neighbors. My mother still lives in my childhood home, and has since added alpacas to the scene. My sister has chosen to stay there, building a home for her family behind my mother on family land, and has created a lovely little mini-farm with chickens and goats. It feels like vacation when I visit and stay at what I lovingly refer to as the family compound.
But I left the country for a while to discover life in town. My husband is a town mouse through and through. He was born and spent the first ten years of his life in a city. He spent his childhood in Cali, Colombia hopping on cross-town buses to watch soccer games and playing on the sidewalk outside his home. So to say we had very different childhood experiences is an understatement. The first and second homes we lived in together were literally townhouses, sharing walls with our neighbors. I wasn’t sure I would like that type of living. You mean I might actually have to talk to people when I go outside? But I loved it! Especially when we lived in the city (small city) of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. We could walk to the corner coffee shop, the downtown market, the minor league baseball stadium, and numerous restaurants, bars, and shops. We were a young couple with no children, and we took full advantage of all the city had to offer.
Family life drew us out of town. When we had our son we wanted to give him a yard to play in, so we moved to the suburbs. We were still close to things we loved, but needed to use our car to get to them. When we were moving to Northeast Pennsylvania, we looked at options in town. We contemplated a walkable setting but ended up living in the woods. We felt a bit isolated in the winter when it was cold and snowy, but were so thankful for great friends in our community. We luckily had wonderful neighbors who became friends, but any stores, restaurants, or activities were a car ride away.
When we made our “big” move to Virginia, our home search narrowed to a neighborhood setting. Coming from the north, the concept of a community with amenities was definitely appealing. We also wanted to give our son some autonomy to be able to ride his bike in the neighborhood and meet friends. So our decision again was driven by what was best for our family at this stage. 2020 and the current state of the world has put all of that on hold for now. Unfortunately our vision of our son riding bike to meet friends at the pool will have to wait for another summer.
We will most likely stay here in suburbia until my son is out of high school. And then we are open to where life takes us next. I do envision my husband and I as empty nesters in a walkable town. We love the city and take every opportunity to drive into Richmond from the burbs to explore great restaurants. So am I a Town Mouse...or a Country Mouse? My gut says Town Mouse for now, but who knows. Maybe my city-loving husband will want to retire somewhere tranquil with a lake view or a beach setting with crashing waves lulling us to sleep. I’m open for the surprises that life will inevitably bring me.
