Can You Be Both Extroverted and Introverted?

Can you confidently call yourself an extrovert?  Can you say without a doubt that you are an introvert?  If you really think about it, you probably cannot definitively choose one with the exclusion of the other. Sure, you might strongly lean one way or the other, but you’re much more complex than that. You are a nuanced, unique person who cannot just fit in one extroverted or introverted box. 

An analogy I once heard resonates with me. It clearly shows the difference between an introvert and extrovert in a very concrete way. An introvert starts their day with 10 coins. Each time they interact with others, they give away a coin. An extrovert on the other hand, starts their day with no coins, and gains one for each social interaction. 

I can relate to both of these scenarios. I definitely gain more coins than I lose, but I’m learning that I also end some days with an empty pocket. 

I’m coming to the realization that I might not be as extroverted as I once thought. Don’t get me wrong, I love people. They energize me. I enjoy social situations and meeting new people. But if I really think about it, I also hesitate to put myself into social settings sometimes and have to talk myself into it. Some days I would rather curl up with a good book, uninterrupted for hours. Can I be both extroverted and introverted?

The past few years have been challenging for me.  In addition to dealing with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdown with the rest of the population, I also was diagnosed with cancer this year. I spent the majority of 2022 recovering from surgery and undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. And then healing both mentally and physically.  It was lonely. In hindsight, I am  surprised to say that it was also therapeutic to be alone. I felt no pressure to engage with the world. No one expected me to socialize.  I only spoke to my immediate family and my medical team. But by the end, as I started to gain energy and feel better, I felt restless. Like I was missing something. I was ready to be around people again. 

Now that I am back in the world again, It’s dawning on me that I am not a pure extrovert as I had previously assumed. I’m happy to be back engaging with people again both personally and professionally. But I know that I also need my time to recharge and be alone. 

I recently attended a professional conference where I was an exhibitor. I spoke to people all day long. While I definitely thrive in that type of environment, I also thoroughly enjoyed going back to the cave of my hotel room, climbing in the bed to simply unwind by myself with my takeout dinner.   

I don’t think most people are one or the other. Very few are total extroverts or introverts. I believe we all fall on a continuum of some sort. Imagine a scale from one through ten, with ten being full extroverted tendencies and one being full introverted.  

Those who are high on the scale most likely had a difficult time during covid. They may have found themselves depleted and possibly even depressed. They weren’t able to gain their energy from others and felt isolated. Zoom was great, but totally not the same. 

Those lower on the scale were most likely perfectly content to recharge and isolate at home in their own comfy nests. They may have felt anxiety with the thought of re-entering the social life again. 

Most of us would fall between three and seven. Of course there will be some outliers at one/two or nine/ten.  But those would be rare and unique.   I am maybe a six or seven. Where do you fall on the continuum?