This time last year we were all excitedly anticipating the end of 2020. We were constantly bombarded with memes about how 2021 was just around the corner, and let’s say goodbye and good riddance to the shit-show that was 2020. We were all ready to move on from the pandemic. We were all ready for a year of “normal” activities that involved seeing our friends and family. We might have also been ready to go back to work in a physical space outside of our homes. We were ready for our kids to safely return to school. We. Were. Ready. Well, then we got 2021. To me, it didn’t feel like the beacon of hope we had all anticipated. Why?

Wait, it’s only October, why am I talking about resolutions? I know I’m not the only one who has made a New Year’s Resolution only to abandon it after a few weeks. I want to start now exploring why resolutions fail, and how to make yours stick.

We all have that friend. You know, the one who always calls you to lament about their life. They complain about how chaotic their mornings are, trying to get lunches packed, kids dressed, breakfast ready, running out the door only to run back in because their youngest forgot their lunch box - again! Or your friend calls you every Friday afternoon, exhausted and wanting to meet for a glass of wine after her hectic, stress-filled, miserable week at a job she hates. Does your co-worker stop into your office every morning to complain about her husband, her ungrateful kids, her judgemental mother-in-law, her hectic schedule, oh, and how much she hates her job?

September is like a Monday. Follow my logic for a moment. A wise person (and you know who you are) tells me repeatedly that Monday is an opportunity to set an intention for the kind of week you want to have. Maybe you’re the person who sees Monday as an ending. An ending to the freedom and fun of the weekend. Maybe you drag yourself out of bed on a Monday morning with dread. You long for the carefree pace of the weekend. But what if you see Monday as an opportunity? What if instead of dread, we approach Monday with renewed energy and thoughts of the possibility for great things? It’s a matter of mindset.

A new school year. The photos of the “first day of school” fill my social media feeds. My connections are varied, so I have friends whose children are going to kindergarten, 3rd grade, middle school, high school and college. My son started his freshman year of high school this week, but I remember his first day of kindergarten like it was yesterday! From what I’m told by other parents who have older kids, these next 4 years will pass in a blink! Before I know it, we’ll be dropping him off at college.

I failed. Yep, there it is. I said it. Why are we so afraid to say those two little words out loud? Or for that matter, we even hesitate to say them to ourselves! I’m not accustomed to failing. I generally accomplish what I set out to do. Until I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do. I had announced to friends, family and strangers that I was transitioning into working as a realtor, how do I now say “never mind, I’m not doing that now.” Gasp! What would people think?

“I could never do that.” “That would take too much time.” “It’s too late for me to try that.” “I’m not creative enough.” “I would LOVE to do that...but no, I couldn’t.” Are these the voices in your head when you think about your possible next step? Do you censor your potential?

I work with people who want to change their lives! Arguably the biggest chunk of our lives is spent in our “job.” I define this as how we choose to contribute to our family and/or how we choose to support ourselves. This could take the form of someone who has chosen to leave the house every day to work a full time job. This could also take the form of someone who works in the home, whether that is parenting children, running a household, working remotely, or some combination of all of these things.

I have the honor...yes honor…and pleasure of working with high schoolers. I love it! I get to help them learn about themselves and what they are capable of. I get to support them while they talk about what they love to do and what they don’t love to do. I get to point out their strengths and show them possible paths forward.

As parents, we want nothing more than for our children to become successful and happy. We support them through the transitions from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school, from high school to college, and from college to a career. All big milestones! But are we focusing on the right things? Are we helping them enough? Are we helping them too much? Will they get into a good college? Knowing how best to support our children through these transitions can be stressful.

But what if you CAN change a situation? What if it is totally within your power to make an adjustment that will improve your life in one or more ways? I want to talk about the first part of the quote, that if you don’t like something, change it! I want to revisit the topic of “the comfort zone.”

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” - Maya Angelou